Surrogacy: An Experienced Surrogate's Perspective #2

When considering or just getting started with surrogacy few things have a bigger impact than real stories from real people.

Three-time experienced surrogate M.R. answered a few questions in hopes of helping other women navigate the early stages of the process.

• Deciding whether surrogacy is right for them.

• Managing their expectations.

• Preparing themselves and their loved ones for what is to come.

First things first: What made you want to become a surrogate?

MR: Growing up, I would see my aunt cry and talk to my mom about her struggles with infertility. Even as a little girl, I felt her pain. I remember telling her, “When I grow up, I’ll give you a baby—don’t worry.” Of course, I didn’t fully understand what that meant at the time. I didn’t realize that I couldn’t just give my own child away.

She would always respond, “If it’s God’s will, I’ll become a mother one day.”

Sadly, due to her religious beliefs, adoption and surrogacy were never options for her.

Years later, during a college lecture, I was first introduced to the concept of surrogacy. It was presented as an option—but not one that was often talked about. The idea stuck with me. Then, after having my own daughter and experiencing firsthand the meaning and purpose that motherhood brings, something clicked. I loved being pregnant, and I knew I wanted to help someone else experience that same joy.

So I started doing my research, and in 2017, I embarked on my first surrogacy journey.

What was the most rewarding part of your journey(ies)?

MR: The most rewarding part is the ending—the moment in the delivery room when you’re pushing the baby, hearing their first little cries, and seeing the parents’ faces light up with joy and tears.

It’s the tight hug, the genuine “thank you,” and the realization that every needle, every hormone injection, every moment of discomfort was absolutely worth it.

That feeling—knowing that because of this journey, someone else gets to become a parent—is beyond beautiful. It’s truly indescribable.

What was the most difficult part of your journey(ies)?

MR: The hardest part of the journey, honestly, is the beginning. The first few appointments leading up to the transfer are intense. Making sure everything is just right—your body has to be perfectly prepared to set the transfer date. 

It can be nerve-wracking. But even during those stressful moments, having the right agency by your side makes a huge difference. 

Were your family and friends supportive?

MR: Yes—my close family and friends were incredibly supportive. And that support made all the difference. It’s so important to prepare your loved ones for the journey, so they can be there for you emotionally, physically, and mentally—especially on the hard days.

If there were individuals who were not supportive, how did you navigate those relationships?

MR: To be completely transparent, I chose to keep my surrogacy journeys off social media. I also didn’t share the news with certain individuals who I felt might be judgmental or unsupportive due to their personal or religious beliefs.

Sometimes, the fewer people involved, the better. You avoid unnecessary questions, opinions, or negative energy—and protect your peace in the process.

What were the most important factors you considered when choosing a surrogacy agency, consultant, or liaison?

MR: Empathy and care were non-negotiable for me. And my agency blew me away. Their level of compassion was unbelievable. They saw me as a real person—not just a surrogate. They were honest, transparent, and communicated beautifully. They were always easy to reach and even easier to talk to.

What advice would you offer a first-time surrogate?

MR:

• Do your research. Know what you’re getting into.

• Talk to your kids. Help them understand what you’re doing and why.

• Trust your gut. If something feels off, listen to your instincts.

• Do it for the right reasons. Surrogacy is a life-changing journey—for you and for someone else. Make sure your heart is fully in it.

If you could tell the world one thing about surrogacy what would it be?

Surrogacy is one of the most selfless, powerful, and beautiful acts of love. It’s not just about carrying a baby—it’s about giving hope, helping dreams come true, and creating families.